


entering the Saint Ann gate

by sandpapersnowman



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Blasphemy, Gen, Tumblr Prompt, characters disguised as priests and a nun i legit dont know how to tag for this lmao, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-17 23:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15472824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandpapersnowman/pseuds/sandpapersnowman
Summary: The fact that they got as far asbeing in the Vaticanwas already unbelievable, and now they've got ameetingwith thepope. Hopefully the security on the way out will be more... Escapable.





	entering the Saint Ann gate

**Author's Note:**

> i forgot my roommate follows my tumblr and she asked for a different fandom with 'they're at like the Vatican, I assume they swear a lot in front of some crusty white men and the pope' and then sent another ask that said 'Wait wait, venture bros: same as last prompt'
> 
> this is dedicated to ari, my unlikely muse
> 
> title from [an actual webpage about how to request a papal blessing](http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/institutions_connected/elem_apost/documents/rc_elemosineria_doc_20130218_benedizioni_en.html)

"Why do  _I_  have to be the nun?" Dean mumbles.

"Because you already look like a girl," Hank snaps back. "Underbheit thought you were a girl, and you didn't even have boobs that time."

"Underbheit also kept castrated men around because he didn't trust women to prepare his bride, or at all," Rusty points out. "He had bigger problems than thinking Dean was a girl."

"Okay, but why do I have to be the nun?" Dean whines again. "We could have both been deacons."

"It's more realistic," Rusty says. "Why would I have  _two_  deacons shadowing me? That'd be ridiculous."

"You just wanted me to shave off my mustache," he mutters under his breath.

Rusty shrugs; the 'mustache' was also ridiculous. If Dean had to shave it as their appointed nun character, then it's a win-win for all of them.

"Would you quit bickering?" Brock cuts in, awkwardly tugging at the clerical collar around his neck. "As soon as any of you open your mouth in front of the pope, our cover is blown."

"Oh,  _we'll_  blow our cover," Rusty rolls his eyes. "Not the Party City costumes? Or the priest built like a brick shithouse? Really, Brock, do you give your sermons from a rowing machine? Christ."

"At least I can keep myself from blaspheming for, like, an hour," Brock points out. "Watch your language."

"Oh, of  _course_ , sorry. Built like a brick confessional," Rusty sneers. "What? I'm sure the pope has dropped some hard G's around here."

"Yeah," Hank agrees. "God is, like, his grandpa. Everyone's allowed to address their grandpa by whatever they want."

Brock sighs. They're almost to the conference room that the actual damn --  _not_  damn, just 'actual', he reminds himself -- the conference room that the  _actual pope_ is probably in right now, waiting to meet a group that he thinks are trying to receive a papal blessing, not plant a bug to satisfy Rusty's own curiosity about 'what the pope actually does all day'.

"Just let me do the talking," Brock insists.

This is going to be... Bad.

**Author's Note:**

> find more nonsense from me on [my tumblr](https://www.sandpapersnowman.tumblr.com)


End file.
